


my head is giving me life or death

by bennycube



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennycube/pseuds/bennycube
Summary: “We did hear a rumour when we first arrived in Fillory, about a group of thieves who oppose The Dark King.”“Oh good,” Margo crosses her arms. “So, our last hope for Fillory is a Robin Hood gang?”Or: The gang meets a familiar face in the woods.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote like a third of this on my ipad the day after the finale and was like "guess that's yet another story I'll never finish" so this is a surprise to me. Title is lyrics from "best of you" by the foo fighters.
> 
> This does also contain margo/josh, julia/penny, and alice/quentin; but I clearly choose my tags based entirely on the current placement of the stars. Also they're not relevant.

After learning about The Dark King, Margo and Eliot travelled to the clock barrens where they convinced Jane to teach them how to use a clock tree to travel through time; then, the pair teamed up with Julia and Penny to travel 300 years into Fillory’s past. At least that’s what Fen was told before their plan went to shit and they failed to stop The Dark King. All they really accomplished was dragging Josh and Fen back to their present; great news for Fen, bad news for Fillory.

“We’ve got to get that bastard off my throne,” Margo seethes, almost storming away the moment the group stumbles back into the present. Josh seems to hesitate as she paces, unwilling to touch her while she’s clearly in a foul mood. Eliot leans against a tree and allows Margo to be pissed; he seems more tired then Fen remembers, but she imagines possession and injury do that to a person.

“You could take a second to be glad you got your boyfriend back,” Penny suggests.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Josh says, “we’re definitely gonna have some great reunion sex later.”

Penny grimaces. “Don’t tell me these things,” he hisses. Julia gives him a sympathetic look but shakes her head like he should’ve seen it coming. Margo, who stopped her pacing to glare at Penny, looks like she’s considering starting that reunion sex right now just to spite him. It had been months since Fen had visited Earth by the time The Dark King had come to overthrow her – even longer since Margo had been in Fillory – but Fen still hasn’t forgotten that time Margo jumped Josh right in front of her. Fen quickly moves over to Margo and places her hand on her shoulder.

“We should focus on your throne,” she says. Margo shrugs her hand off – in a way that is almost gentle, at least for Margo – and turns to Eliot like she’s ready to strategize.

“So, we have to defeat this Dark King in the present,” Eliot begins. “Even though we’ve already lost to him and he’s now 300 years stronger.” Eliot’s expression looks hopeless and Margo’s shoulders sag a little in defeat.

After a moment of tense silence Julia speaks. “We did hear a rumour when we first arrived in Fillory, about a group of thieves who oppose The Dark King.”

“Thieves?” Eliot questions softly, in disbelief.

“Oh good,” Margo crosses her arms. “So, our last hope for Fillory is a Robin Hood gang?”

“It’s the only idea we’ve got,” Julia responds.

“Fine. How do we find them?”

~

Penny ends up having to travel the group to the outskirts of a village where he and Julia had landed when they’d come back to Fillory. Since finding actual information isn’t exactly going to be easy, the group decides to split up.

“I’ll go with Fen,” Julia says before anyone else has a chance to speak. Fen is surprised, but she notices how Julia seems to be actively not looking at Penny.

“Alright,” Penny responds, he had a pained expression for a split second but it was gone so fast it barely registered. He looks at the rest of the group – clearly taking note of Eliot and Margo standing as close to each other as possible – and sighs in defeat. “I’ll go with Josh.” The three pairs wander towards town and split off to go their separate ways.

“We’re going to start where I first heard the rumour,” Julia tells Fen, quickly leading her to an open space with market stalls. Fen fondly remembers shopping malls.

“It’s so easy to buy knives on Earth,” she sighs. As a blacksmith’s daughter she admires the craft deeply, but the convenience of walking into a store and buying an entire set of knives on a whim is hard to compete with. Julia smiles at her; she looks around the small market for a moment before spotting what she’s looking for. The two women move towards a woman perusing a fruit stall.

“Excuse me,” Julia says, tapping the woman gently on the shoulder to gain her attention. “You might not remember me, but there’s something I need to ask you.” The woman very clearly remembers her; she subtly looks around, like she’s trying to make sure no one is watching her.

“Give me a moment,” she says to Julia, as she quickly picks the fruit she wants to buy. She pays, puts the fruit in her bag, and leads the two women around a corner. “Alright, I don’t think anyone will overhear us,” she says, looking around one more time before focusing back on Julia. “You were the one that asked me and my friend about The Dark King.”

“And now I’m here to ask you about bandits,” she responds. The woman takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky; like if she wishes hard enough, she’ll be magically removed from this situation. She sighs and seemingly accepts her fate.

“I don’t know a lot about the bandits,” she talks quietly like she wants to avoid any risk of being overheard, “but I heard they were spotted in the west. Just a village over.”

“I can work with that,” Julia responds.

“How do you know you can trust this woman?” Fen cuts in, eyeing the woman suspiciously.

“How do _I_ know I can trust _you_?” the woman responds. Fen backs down. As the two start to turn away, the woman quickly moves to grab Julia’s arm, drawing her attention back to her. “If the bandits _are_ in those woods, then The Dark King’s soldiers are going to be there too,” she warns them, almost immediately letting go of Julia’s arm. “They won’t take kindly to your traveller friend.”

“Thank you for your concern,” Julia says kindly, before turning away with Fen to return to the rendezvous point.

When the group meets up again Julia is the only one with any kind of lead, so they decide they may as well pop on over to the next town. They hit a stroke of bad luck when Penny happens to make them appear right in front of a patrol of soldiers – it turns out The Dark King has a bounty out on travellers. In their haste to try and escape the group gets split up, and Fen finds herself fleeing into the woods alone with three soldiers hot on her heels.

~

She’s sprinting through the trees – trying to weave around enough to lose her pursuers – when she bursts into a clearing. She sees a glint of light in the trees and feels with absolute certainty that someone is out there. If she’s been surrounded, then she may as well make a final stand; she turns back around, pulling out dual knives as she flings herself towards the closest soldier. Arrows fly quickly from a spot in the trees to take down two of the soldiers while Fen’s expert knife skills finish her target; as she stands back up Fen feels an overwhelming sense of relief. A mysterious hooded figure walks calmly into the clearing. They move right past her towards the downed soldiers and bend down to check if they can salvage their arrows.

“Thank you for your assistance,” Fen says bowing politely to the stranger. “I am deposed former acting High King Fen,” she says with attempted gravitas and a hint of uncertainty. The stranger stands.

“I was told you’re 300 years dead,” the stranger’s voice has a tingle of humour to it; Fen also finds the voice strangely familiar. The man turns to her, removing his hood and scarf to reveal his face, and suddenly standing before her is Quentin Coldwater.

“Quentin, I didn’t know you were in Fillory.”

“You recognise me?” He asks.

“I know we weren’t the closest,” she answers, “but I’m not exactly bad with faces.” Quentin hums non-commitally in response.

“We came out here looking for the Dark King’s enemies and I found you. Oh!” Fen is practically bouncing with excitement. “You can help me find the others; they’ll be so happy to see you!”

“Lead the way, your former highness,” Quentin says with a wave of his hand, a slight bow, and the hint of a smile. Fen smiles back and leads the way.

They walk cautiously through the woods in comfortable silence; both clearly keeping their ears out, looking for any sign of more of the Dark King’s soldiers. Fen hears the sound of Margo’s voice and rushes ahead of Quentin, bursting through the underbrush to find the group together and unharmed.

“Fen!” Margo shouts in surprise, “are you okay?” She continues at a normal tone.

“And why is there blood on you?” Josh adds.

“Oh, that’s just from the man I stabbed,” she responds. “I was being chased by three of them, but it worked out fine because King Quentin came to my rescue.”

“King?” Quentin questions as he walks out of the woods behind Fen. Almost immediately the entire group freezes.

Well, except for Josh. “Oh hey Quentin, where ya been?” he asks, casually.

“Oh shit, we forgot to tell Josh,” Penny panic whispers from the back of the group.

“Oh, well,” Quentin gaze passes over everyone’s shocked faces to focus on Josh. “I’m pretty sure I died.”

“Oh,” Josh responds casually, he turns to see the expressions on everyone else’s faces. “Oh…” he says, a lot less casually.

“Q,” Eliot’s voice is almost a whimper; Margo instinctively grabs his hand in a vice grip, like she’s both offering and taking comfort. The sadness that’s been surrounding Eliot from the moment Fen was reunited with him is starting to make a lot more sense.

Julia lets out a sob then sprints past the entire group to throw herself into Quentin’s arms. Quentin reciprocates, but there’s a confused sort of fondness in his expression. Fen stands awkwardly next to the pair, trying to decide whether she should give them space; she looks to Margo for any sort of guidance but her focus – like the rest of the group’s – is entirely on Quentin.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” Quentin starts as he pulls away from Julia’s hug. 

“Damn, is this another Penny situation?” Margo huffs out, annoyed. Penny takes a moment from his surprise to frown at her.

“I don’t know what that means,” Quentin admits, “maybe I used to?”

“Used to?” Eliot asks softly, he has a look in his eyes like he’s too scared to think it’s a miracle. A flash of confused emotion crosses Quentin’s face when he looks at Eliot, but it’s gone almost as quickly as it appears.

“I kind of lost all my memories.”

An uncomfortable silence descends over the group; Julia breaks it, “but you’re really Quentin, right?” She grabs a firm hold of his arm, and when Quentin looks down at her hand there’s more fondness then confusion.

He looks her in the eyes and answers with absolute certainty. “Yes. I’m Quentin Coldwater.”


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memory of a choice.

Quentin walks through a doorway into bright white empty space; the only thing in that space is what looks like a child. There’s a strange aura to the boy that Q find unsettling.

“Of course,” Quentin mutters, “the afterlife’s shit.”

“Not quite,” the boy says, “I’m here to offer you a choice.”

“Is this how things usually go?”

“Who knows?” The boy responds, “Maybe we always do this, or maybe this is your reward for saving us.”

“Sure… so, what’s the choice?”

“Use your card to continue to the afterlife,” the child points to a door that has appeared to his right. “Or use it to return to your friends,” he points to a door on his left.

“That’s too easy,” Quentin narrows his eyes. “What’s the catch?”

“Is it though?” The boy asks. “An existence free from your burdens and worries is on the other side of that door.” Quentin hesitates for a moment, before seeming to physically shake off his thoughts; he heads towards the door on the boy’s left.

“There is a price,” the boy admits before Quentin reaches the door. “Some gifts are too big to be free, Quentin Coldwater, even after what you’ve done.”

Quentin’s hand hovers over the doorknob, “what’s the price?”

“Your memories,” the boy states. “You will still be you and if you happen to meet your friends again, they will certainly recognise you. But you will not remember them. Or anything really.”

When Quentin looks over his shoulder at the boy he appears to be smirking; as if the boy enjoys any hint of indecision. Quentin opens the door but stops before walking in, “since I’m not going to remember this anyway, who are you?”

“Who knows?” The boy answers. “Maybe I am many things, or maybe I am simply death.” Quentin lets out an exasperated sigh and walks through the door.


	3. three

Quentin leads the group to a camp hidden deep in the woods; when they get their he immediately starts moving things around, like he’s about five seconds away from saying “sorry for the mess.” He doesn’t say that, which somehow makes the situation feel stranger. He sits down and gestures at some logs placed in a vague circle for them to sit on. It’s day so the fire in the middle isn’t burning but that doesn’t stop Julia from thinking about their fireside memorial. The group nervously remains standing.

“The Dark King’s soldiers won’t find you here, and none of the others have any reason to turn up here anytime soon.” He tells the group. Eliot sits down directly across from him; there’s a chance he hasn’t taken his eyes off him since he saw him, but when Quentin looks back at him, Eliot looks away.

“Others?” Julia asks as she sits herself down next to Quentin. The rest of the group sits down on the logs, with varying degrees of reluctance. Fen and Margo are on either side of Eliot – all managing to sit on one log together – and Josh sits himself down as close to Margo as possible; Penny looks like he’s going to move to sit next Julia, but he hesitates and ends up sitting closer to Fen.

“You came out here looking for the bandits who oppose the Dark King, right?” When the entire group just looks at him with confusion, he responds by nodding his head towards Fen. Margo gives her a disappointed look.

“In my defence, you didn’t mention he was dead,” as Fen looks away from Margo her eyes catch on what looks like some knives and she immediately rushes over to go look at them.

“Well those bandits you’re looking for, this is kind of a resting place for them,” Quentin continues, seemingly unconcerned with Fen nosing around the camp. “They kind of call themselves the FU Fighters, after some ancient freedom fighter group, I guess?” He seems very unsure about specifics.

“Wow,” Margo turns to Eliot and whispers, “I really wasn’t expecting a Foo Fighter comeback.”

“Bambi,” Eliot whispers back, “I’m too shocked to appreciate your excellent joke.”

“So, you joined a gang of bandits?” Josh asks, his voice slightly louder then usual, as if trying to avoid the whispered conversation he definitely heard happening right next to him.

“A few months back we stumbled across each other,” Quentin tells them. “I could shoot a bow, do a little magic, and they wanted to defeat an evil king, so…”

“So, without any memories you immediately jumped on a quest to save Fillory,” Julia voice has a sort of awe to it and her hand is holding his again, “that’s just like you Q,” she tells him. They smile at each other for a moment.

“I think the group needs to take an aside to discuss some things,” Margo cuts in, she moves across the circle to grab Julia and drag her back across to the others; pulling the entire group into a huddle away from Quentin. “Fen!” she hisses across the camp and the former acting High King comes rushing over.

“How can we know this is really Quentin?” Margo asks the huddle.

“I know it is,” Julia insists.

“This Quentin’s wards are terrible,” Penny adds, “and he genuinely believes he’s Quentin.”

“Well if he’s really memory-less Quentin, then how much should we be telling him about himself?” Josh questions. The whole huddle goes uncomfortably silent.

“You guys know I can still hear you, right?” Quentin tells them. The entire huddle breaks to look at him; he hasn’t moved, they’ve just huddled way too close. Quentin gives them a look that makes it seem like he might genuinely be embarrassed for them. “You realise that outside of Fen, none of you have told me your names.”

Without hesitation Julia moves away from the huddle and closer to Quentin. “I’m Julia. I’m your best friend, we’ve known each other since we were kids,” she tells him, making her stance on the aforementioned subject very clear.

“That makes sense,” he mumbles to himself. “There’s something I want to talk to you about,” he looks hesitantly at the rest of the group, “alone,” he adds. Julia nods her head in agreement.

“Why?” Margo puts her arm up to hold Julia back before she can walk towards him, suddenly suspicious. 

“Because he trusts her,” Penny tells them. Quentin looks askance at that response.

“That’s Penny,” Julia says as she brushes past Margo, “he’s psychic.” Julia pulls Quentin up from his log, “let’s go have a conversation, Q,” she says softly as she leads him away from the others and into a tent at the back of the camp.

~

When they’re alone Quentin seems to hesitate for a moment before building up his courage. “Penny’s right,” he says, “for some reason I feel like I can trust you.”

“Maybe it’s your memories coming back?”

“It’s not,” he says with absolute certainty and changes the subject before Julia can question it. “The thing I wanted to talk to you about… it’s kind of difficult.” He looks down, allowing his hair to hide his face.

“Whatever it is I’m willing to listen.” She places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“The last few months I’ve realised that… well… my brain… it’s got some issues.”

Julia squeezes his shoulder to be comforting and his gaze returns to her face. “I know. You were the same before.”

“I figured,” Julia offers a questioning look but he moves along. “When I joined up with the bandits a part of it was me trying to do the right thing, but I guess you could say I needed a distraction to pass the time? I’ve kind of been waiting for you.”

Julia slowly drops her hand in her confusion. “Waiting?”

“I remember how I lost my memories,” he admits, “I guess the choice to come back to life was some kind of reward for something?”

“You saved the world Q,” she whispers. She smiles, but there’s grief lingering in her eyes.

“My memories were the price I paid to return to my friends,” Quentin looks away from her but his hand clutches against his own chest like he’s feeling something deeply. “I think I must have loved you guys a lot.”

“Maybe you wanted to live?” Julia suggests.

“Maybe both things are true,” he smiles at her, softly. They stay in the moment, until Quentin decides to break it. “Can you maybe give me some tips on keeping the psychic out of my head?”

Julia laughs gently, “you’ll figure it out Q.”

~

The pair walk outside again to find the rest of the group milling around waiting for their return. Julia watches as Quentin’s eyes sweep across the camp until they find Eliot; he’s looking away from them but he’s also positioned, leaning against a tree, with a perfect view of the tent’s entrance. Quentin frowns like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle, but the moment Julia tugs him back towards the seating area he lets it go.

“This is definitely our Quentin,” Julia tells the group as they return to their seats, “but you’ll have to take my word for it.”

“If anyone would know,” Eliot whispers to Margo. Margo nods and relaxes a little bit.

“So…” Josh drags out, “what’s our next move?”

“I can get you in touch with some FU Fighters,” Quentin suggests, “I know where some of them should be, at least.”

“Yes, let’s get back on track to overthrow a king,” Margo responds.

“Hang on a minute,” Penny cuts in, “shouldn’t we tell Alice that Quentin’s alive?”

“Alice?” Quentin asks. An awkwardness fills the space.

“She’s your girlfriend, Q,” Julia tells him.

“You mean ex-girlfriend?” He responds.

Margo perks up, “do you remember-” but Quentin cuts her off before she can finish.

“No,” his response is almost harsh, but he immediately softens. “I just figured maybe death counted as a break up?”

“It’s surprising to hear that coming from you,” Julia says, thinking of that time they brought Alice back.

“It’s seems like a question to ask other Penny,” Penny mumbles, possibly to himself.

“Q can go meet Alice, and we-” Margo gestures to her own little foursome, “-can go try and make plans with some bandits.”

“Great plan,” Eliot says with confidence; then his voice goes soft, like it’s meant only for Margo. “But I can’t leave Q,” Margo looks like she’s going to argue, but the moment she looks into Eliot’s eyes she caves.

“You better come back in my timeline, El,” then she drags him into a hug. Quentin watches the exchange with open curiosity. When the two finally pull apart, Fen rushes in for her own hug and Margo turns to Quentin. “Tell me everything I need to know, Coldwater.”


	4. four

They decide to reunite with Alice somewhere comfortable like the cottage; only to realise, when Quentin started nosing around with a look of curiosity, that there wasn’t really a place Quentin could remember finding comfortable. Penny had disappeared to go get Alice as soon as he dropped them off. Julia had decided that while they waited, she should show Quentin some of the books on basic spells. Eliot sat himself in the window seat because it had a perfect view of the pair and pretended not to watch them. So far, Quentin had seemed completely unbothered by Julia – and Eliot’s – very obvious need to keep him in sight at all times; as if he understood that they thought he’d vanish into thin air at a moment’s notice.

The next moment, Penny and Alice are suddenly standing in the middle of the room. Everyone in the room turns to look at them and Alice’s eyes immediately catch on Quentin. Despite clearly knowing what she was in for her eyes have a look of shock to them; then, she starts to tear up and rushes across the room to throw her arms around him. Quentin stands frozen still with his arms by his side for a moment, before reaching up to pat her awkwardly on the back a couple times. Penny and Eliot both openly watch the exchange, but Julia at least has the decency to take a few steps away and pretend she’s deeply absorbed in the book she’s holding.

Alice pulls back from the hug to look him in the eyes and her face falls at the lack of recognition. “You don’t remember me.” She takes a step back to give him space.

“Did Penny not tell you I wouldn’t?” he asks, confused.

“I guess some part of me thought maybe you’d magically remember,” she laughs bitterly at herself.

“Maybe there’s information on how to get his memories back somewhere in the library,” Penny suggests. Eliot sits up straighter and Alice seems to visibly perk up as she turns to look at Penny; Julia frowns but doesn’t look up from the book she’s pretending to read.

“You don’t understand the situation,” Quentin sounds slightly irritated, as if their hopeful faces make him uncomfortable. “My memories aren’t locked away in my head somewhere; they’re just gone.”

“They can’t understand unless you tell them, Q,” Julia tells him gently, finally putting down the book she’s holding. Quentin sighs.

“My memories are the price I paid for resurrection,” he admits.

The room processes that information in silence for a moment. It seems to hit Eliot right in the gut, the simple fact that Quentin was given a choice; that he has some kind of proof of having a life before this one.

“Holy shit Q,” Eliot voice is almost a whisper, “you’re alive.”

“I am standing here,” Quentin says while gesturing down at himself.

“I guess I didn’t believe it.” There were a lot of possible explanations that had run through Eliot’s head, resurrection wasn’t really one of them. Quentin’s eyes soften with fondness as he looks at him; way too much to be directing at a person you basically just met.

“I don’t know how to deal with that,” Alice admits. The softness stays in Quentin’s eyes as he turns to look at her. “I guess it’s easier to be trying to fix a problem instead of…”

“Learning to live with it?” Q responds. “It’s okay Alice.”

“It isn’t. We’re supposed to be a team,” she looks on the brink of tears. “And maybe what you did was the only solution but you still—,” her voice falters. “It’s like no matter how we feel we can’t figure out how to trust it; and none of that matters because you can’t remember any of those problems anyway.”

“It matters.” This time when Alice throws herself into his arms, Quentin hugs her back.

“I do love you,” she says into the hug, while clearly trying not to cry, “but I don’t think we work.”

“I think I love you too. I can feel that,” he sounds like he’s close to crying too. “I want to be your friend,” he admits.

“I want to be your friend too,” she sobs. The continue to hug each other for a long, quiet moment.

“Probably would’ve been better to not have this conversation in front of three other people,” Penny breaks the silence. Alice freezes as she remembers other people are in the room with them, she awkward pulls away and attempts to discreetly wipe her tears.

Eliot politely pretends he’s looking away and notices that Julia is doing the same, as if – like him – she wanted to give them privacy but still didn’t want to let Quentin out of her sight. Penny offers no such politeness, at least, not when he knows they’re looking; he smirks at them. The exasperated look Quentin throws at Penny is so familiar that it almost makes Eliot want to weep.

“I’m psychic, you don’t have privacy anyway,” Penny mocks, “Memory-less Quentin has shit wards.” Julia moves closer to Penny so she can gently smack him on the arm.

Quentin decides to ignore them and looks back at Alice as she finishes pulling herself back together. When Alice looks him in the eyes, she seems conflicted; like she wants to keep him in her sight until the end of time but also wants to be somewhere else to process the situation.

“If you need anything, I’m always willing to help,” she’s looking at Quentin when she says it, but it’s clearly meant for the whole room. “I’m kind of in charge of the library now.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Q answers honestly.

“Oh, that’s a whole thing to explain,” Penny says. Alice walks over to him and holds out her hand for him to take.

“I’ll talk to you later, Q,” she smiles back at him, then the two vanish.

“Wow I think I just got dumped for the first time in my life,” Quentin says, smiling.

“That was definitely not the first-,” Julia starts but Quentin cuts her off.

“The first time ever!” he insists, and the two of them laugh softly together. Eliot almost laughs with them but he remembers the mosaic aftermath and his smile drops immediately. Quentin’s laughter stops and out of the corner of his eye Eliot can see Quentin narrowing his eyes at him, like there’s something he wants to ask. He doesn’t say anything.

Quentin smiles again as he turns to look at Julia. “Alright, while we wait for your boyfriend to come back, why don’t you teach me some more magic?” he asks excitedly. Julia agrees with matching excitement.


	5. five

They finally return to Fillory. When they were preparing to leave the cottage Quentin had told Penny exactly where he’d sent the others, right before he’d grabbed Eliot’s hand to pull him up from the window seat, but where they appear doesn’t seem distinctive in any way. It’s just even more woods.

“Finally,” a familiar voice spits from somewhere behind them. The group turns around – Quentin drops Julia’s hand but turns with Eliot – to see Margo and Fen waiting for them. “Took you long enough.” Margo’s stance has her usual confidence, but her arms are crossed and she seems incredibly annoyed. Eliot feels an instinct to place himself with Margo, but Quentin is still holding his hand.

“Did a lot of time pass?” Quentin asks with genuine concern.

“It’s been hours. Your bandit buddies are a hassle to deal with.”

“She refused to call them FU Fighters,” Fen adds. “So they refused to talk to us without Quentin.”

“Where’s Josh?” Julia asks.

“He’s joined them,” Margo hisses. “He’s making them lunch!”

“Oh Bambi,” Eliot’s tone is gentle, lightly mocking. “Your boyfriend joined the foo fighters.” Margo gestures at Quentin – specifically at where he’s still holding his hand – while looking furious at Eliot.

“Uh, do you want me to talk to them?” Quentin misinterprets, much to Eliot’s relief. Margo sarcastically waves her hand in the direction of the vine covered wall behind her, which Quentin correctly interprets as a yes. He drops Eliot’s hand and moves past her, pushing vines out of his way so he can enter the cave hidden behind them; the group follows.

~

After Quentin manages to smooth things over, Eliot decides now is probably the best time to speak to him privately. The others are discussing the details of a mission the bandits want them to do – in order to prove themselves – but don’t seem particularly bothered when Eliot grabs Quentin by the wrist and drags him out of the cave. Quentin doesn’t seem bothered either, he just goes right along with him. Eliot comes to a stop an arbitrary distance from the cave hideout. There is absolutely nothing distinctive about where they’re standing, or any parts of these woods.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Eliot says as he turns to look at him. Quentin waits patiently for him to continue. “Well… I was in love with you.”

“That explains it,” Quentin nods his head once and looks a lot like someone who just slotted in the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Eliot’s thoughts are stopped dead in their tracks.

“Huh?”

“I think I still remember feelings,” Quentin explains, “so I keep getting emotions without context. I, uh…” he suddenly gets nervous and stutters. “I think I love you back, if, uh, if that’s what you wanted to know?”

“No, I knew that,” Eliot brushes aside as he tries to get his thoughts back on track. “That wasn’t quite what I needed to tell you.”

“Wait, you knew?” Quentin cuts in. He looks confused, then alarmed; his voice raises in pitch. “Was I cheating on my girlfriend?”

“No, no, of course not,” Eliot places a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down. “I was possessed by a monster when you got back together with Alice.”

While Quentin is calmer, he still looks rather concerned by this statement. “Back together?” He asks.

“Well you sort of broke up years ago after you… cheated… on her…” Eliot trails off; Quentin pulls away and just stares at him in disbelief. “This conversation went very off track,” he whispers into the awkward silence that stretches between them.

“What was the track, Eliot?” Quentin asks. His tone of voice comes with a frustrated edge that reminds Eliot this really is their Q.

“You asked me out and I rejected you,” Eliot rushes out. Quentin’s responds with a genuinely pained expression and Eliot has to look away from it. “I loved you and I was scared and I ran away. I thought you deserved to have the whole picture. I mean, there are some other things–” Quentin quickly cuts him off.

“Eliot I cannot deal with more things!” he sounds slightly panicked. Quentin stops, breathes for a moment, and calms himself down. “Okay, okay,” he seems to be taking a moment to try and process everything. “You don’t need to explain my entire romantic history all at once.”

“Fair enough,” Eliot responds.

Quentin looks at the ground and seems to think for a moment, before looking Eliot right in the eyes. “Do you want to try dating now?”

“What?” Eliot is completely caught off guard. “From your perspective we’ve only just met.”

“I told you, I still have my feelings,” Quentin moves forward to grab Eliot’s hand. “And I died, so clearly life is short.”

“Uh…” Eliot really wishes Quentin would stop asking him out during really hard to navigate moments. Quentin hesitates for a moment, before grabbing Eliot’s other hand and moving closer.

“I was offered an eternity free from my worries and I came back to you,” he confesses. “Well, not just you,” he adds. There’s a silence that’s quickly broken by Eliot’s laugh bursting out of him; Quentin’s face flinches and he starts to pull away.

“Wait, wait,” Eliot says, gently pulling him back. “It’s just very you,” he smiles at Quentin, eyes full of affection.

“I’m still the same person I was before,” Quentin retorts. “As much as you can be the same person when you’re missing the entire context of your life.”

“I can tell you your entire life story,” Eliot offers, smiling. Quentin tugs his hands from Eliot’s grasp and waves them frantically in front of him.

“No, no,” he smiling as he speaks. “I’d rather learn about myself slowly.” His smile drops into a nervous frown. “Unless you need me to be the Quentin that remembers?” Eliot moves to gently take Quentin’s hand like he’s worried he’s going to sprint away. He moves his other hand to caress Quentin’s cheek and bends his head down so their foreheads are touching. As Eliot closes his eyes, he notes that Quentin’s remain wide open and staring at him.

“You’re definitely Q,” Eliot smiles gently. “If you trust who you are, then I trust you.”

“El,” Quentin whispers. Eliot jerks back slightly, feeling the nickname like a zap of electricity. Quentin looks back at Eliot’s shocked face with concern, like he’s worried he’s done something wrong. So Eliot kisses him and Quentin kisses back. After a while they pull apart.

“Okay, now that we’ve sorted this out, we should probably go overthrow a king,” Eliot says with his usual confidence.

“Pretty sure we’re starting smaller than that,” Quentin looks at Eliot like he may never stop smiling. “Pretty sure you weren’t listening to the group conversation at all.”

“I wasn’t,” Eliot holds Quentin’s hand in his. Quentin seems to smile even brighter, and swings their connected hands a little bit. When they return to the group, they’re still holding hands; no body really questions it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Quentin just going about his everyday business*  
> Eliot: you once had sex with Margo  
> Quentin: I what?!


End file.
